I'm No Good at Goodbyes
by jacksparrow589
Summary: Leaving is so simple. You pack, and then you go. It's saying good bye that's the hard part. Roy and Riza reflect on this as Roy prepares to leave the Hawkeye house the final time. Royai. Oneshot.


**I'm No Good At Goodbyes**

It wasn't as though the Hawkeye house had ever been very noisy, but the days after Mr. Hawkeye's death and the ones leading up to Roy's departure gave a whole new meaning to "silence".

Riza and Roy spoke to each other only when necessary. Though they had often chatted during meals when Roy was Mr. Hawkeye's student, it now seemed that both lacked the energy needed to sustain any sort of conversation. Instead, each remained in their own little world, surprised when that boundary was breeched.

It was now the day of Roy's departure, and, as he had been packing most of the morning, he hadn't so much as glimpsed Riza. Despite the quiet, this was an oddity: Riza had seemed to need reassurance of someone else's presence more than ever after her father died. She would never say it; rather, wherever Roy happened to be, she would show up quietly and stay unobtrusively. (Secretly, Roy felt the same need for a companion. The reassurance that people could live—indeed, that there were other living people—after watching someone die was something he needed just as much as Riza.)

Truth be told, Roy had tried to delay his departure. He knew he shouldn't be leaving Riza with the state things were in. At the same time, dragging out his stay probably only made it worse. With what Riza had revealed to him, Roy was sure he was just a reminder of everything wrong with her life.

Even now, he wasn't sure whether he should so much as say good bye when the time came. He probably would if he knew he would be making another visit soon, but, as he had told Riza (and was all too aware of, himself), he might not come back alive.

_This is so depressing._ Roy sighed. He knew he should say good bye. It wasn't as though he didn't like Riza; she was rather likable as far as girls in her situation went. Actually, as far as Roy was concerned, he probably liked Riza more than most girls because she wasn't the most typical one he'd come into contact with.

_Would I feel worse if I did or if I didn't?_ Roy really didn't require time to think about it. _Didn't._

Well, as soon as he dragged his luggage to the door, anyway. He wasn't sure he could face Riza quite yet.

Heaving another sigh, Roy grabbed the handle of a suitcase and began to drag it out of his room.

* * *

Riza sat on her bed, knees pulled to her chest, back against the wall. What could she say? She was almost as worried for the secret she bore as she was for Roy, and it made her feel a little ashamed. Roy was quite trustworthy, Riza knew, even if he had the aspiration to become a state alchemist.

How many of those negative feelings were even her own? She'd spent most of her life listening to her father rant about how alchemy shouldn't be used as a weapon, and yet, he had researched a type of alchemy that could hardly be used for anything else.

She could hardly be ungrateful when all was said and done, though: she had an education, clothes on her back, food on her plate, and a roof over her head. Her father had done what he could without compromising his morals; Riza could at least respect that.

_Thunk._

Roy was bringing his luggage downstairs. Riza sighed. Goodbyes were by no means her favorite things. Even if she'd had the feeling that Roy had asked too many questions, the choice to trust her back to him had been hers and hers alone, and she still felt that she had made the right choice. Well, at least as far as Roy was concerned. He was a decent person—she knew that—but she also knew that the choice to use flame alchemy would no longer be Roy's once he became a State Alchemist.

The circumstances in general were just a horrible way to end things. Riza didn't even know if she'd ever see Roy again, and she wasn't sure how to say good bye in light of that.

_What do I do?_

A soft knock sounded on her door. "Riza?"

_Well, I guess that answers that question._

* * *

They stood on the porch, staring at each other for a moment. It was the proper place for such things as greetings and farewells, after all.

It was Roy who, characteristically, broke the silence.

"Are you sure you'll be all right? Chris says she'll help out however she can, but it'd be nice if you were closer. Er… I know you can take care of yourself, but I mean, just, you know, the way things are right now…"

Riza nodded. "Thank you, but I think I'll be fine. I can let Chris know myself if I need any help."

Roy shook his head, sighing. "This isn't any time for me to leave, Riza. I'm sorry."

"You have to do what you have to do." Riza looked Roy straight in the eye. "I said I'd trust my back to you, and I have. It's your turn to make good on that."

Roy nodded, unable to think of anything to say to that. "So, I guess… Good bye, Riza. And thank you."

"Good bye, Roy. And… thank _you_."

_This is horrible. I can't just leave like this!_

Roy dropped his bag and took Riza's hand in one of his. "I'll make good on my dream, I promise." Putting his other hand on Riza's cheek, he leaned in and kissed her, lingering for a moment.

Either Riza was too stunned to start backward (and possibly slap him for being stupid and/or forward), or she didn't mind—Roy didn't know, but he pulled back and grabbed his suitcases and slowly made his way down the porch stairs. At the bottom, he gave her one last, long look before setting off.

Riza crossed her arms. _How did you like that?_ She wasn't sure, but if she didn't immediately hate it…

This was too much for one day. She could at least resent Roy for that much.

_So what do I do now?_

She sighed. She'd been tossing around the idea for a while—since Roy had told her his dream, actually. He was going to need help. There was nothing left here for her, anyway.

_I guess I start packing._

With that, Riza turned on her heel and headed back into the house to do just that.

**A/N: This turned out… differently than I'd intended initially. Still trying to figure out if it works or not, but I'll give it the benefit of the doubt.**

**Of course, let me know what you think!**


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